posted at 23:50
Author: Josh Dickey
The Quest Episode 1 Recap: Youll Feel Very Silly
Most of these actors, inhabitants of a place some fantasy name-generator dubbed "Everealm," are utterly disgusted to find that these 12 lowly "Paladins" have been sent by the "Fates" to save their land, which is the last kingdom left standing on a grander stage. Brought before the "Fates," a three-woman Greek Chorus of referees, we quickly learn a few things about what the Paladins must do to save it. Shondo Blades, a mixed-martial-arts-fighter Paladin from Houston, admonishes the just-assembled group that they should've helped the poor sap by ... doing what exactly? Putting the guy in the Minotaur suit in a submission hold? No one's sure what to do, but they sort of agree and move on, presumably toward some off-camera guy with a clipboard. After a brief period of debate about whether to try to bust out or sit tight, the mood suddenly lightens ... the music turns festive ... and they start sharing their life stories! Finally, we get to know the Paladins' origins. After several minutes of launching huge arrows, the verdict is in - the team with the white arrows stuck 13 targets, while the team with the blue arrows hit only four. The members of the blue team losers will be sent back to the cave of the castle to find out who's "Banished" for poorly launching huge darts at unseen targets. Behold! The blue-arrows team is sent back to the cave of the Fates for one last challenge. The team's two men - Christian the server, and Patrick the friendly-seeming teacher - are pumping arrows into Katie's dummy, blatantly ganging up on the girl.

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